The Fork in the Road

Do you remember the old Scooby Doo movies? In every episode it seems the Gang gets lost on the way to a rock concert. When Fred stops for directions from the creepy farmhand the Gang has two choices; the short way around or the long way around. Simple enough right? Well, they continue driving until they come to the fork in the road. The long way is sunshine and butterflies (and always Scooby's first pick) and the short way is dark and creepy and inevitably takes then past the Haunted Mansion. After a quick democratic vote in the van poor Shaggy and Scooby are out voted and the Gang goes the short way, the creepy way.

I am reaching that fork in the road. Slowly running out of steam and ambition to achieve all that I set out for myself to do. Do I set down the long road full of sunshine and butterflies knowing how easy it would be to stray or do I take the short road that is hard and scary (and more than likely leads to the Haunted Mansion)?

I weighed myself this morning and was shocked at what I saw. 1 pound gone! I thought, "That can't be right..." so weighed myself again and there was the ugly number staring back at me. I ask myself, "Is this even worth it?" I change the way I eat, stop drinking soda AND start running again and all I have to show for it are sore legs and shin splints? Something has to be wrong...right? When I am doing everything that I am supppoed to be doing and nothing changes then why did I even change at all?

I know that this is a mentality that I need to shake but the longer there is no change the more I continue to doubt. Maybe I am supposed to be fat forever...other people have no problem losing weight so why do I...It's hard to pick myself up when I have been down for such a long time. I know that my weight gain is entirely my fault. Every pound that I have gained is from food I have put in my mouth. There is no chemical imbalance, I don't have a glandular problem. I can make no excuses for the way that I am.

Therefore, I will make no excuses for why I haven't lost weight. If I am doing what I am supposed to be doing then results will show in time...hopefully.

A Worthier Cause

To the Chinese we are in the year of the Rat, in our household we are in the year of self-improvement. But as with any task that is undertaken there are bound to be some set backs. I have reached my first hurdle- it is called shin splints. They are painful; a blinding, searing pain that tells me I am doing something wrong. With the help of my cousin, Jamie and Ben I have been set on the right path again. I will have to take a small hiatus from running but was told I could bike in order to stay on track with my program. Once I can run again I will pick up my program where I left off- a few weeks behind but I won't let it discourage me. Which brings me to some big news...

Even with all of the goals I have set forth for myself I realize what I long for, to do what I am really good at...helping others.

So, I am up-ing the ante and adding one more goal to my list. Break out your pom-poms and megaphones and get ready to cheer us on as Ben and I enter the Race for the Cure 5K marathon in Columbus on May 16th; a clear, set goal with a deadline. I work better under pressure anyway.

Can I get a Woot-Woot?!

Tomorrow is day 2 of my work out regime...if you consider running a regime. I am not nearly as sore as I thought that I would be after Monday's run. I have been staying true to my eating changes. I don't really consider it a diet since I am eating all of the food groups. More fruit and veggies and less chips and soda- it's not rocket science so why I couldn't figure it out before boggles my mind. I have received tremendous support from family and friends. I couldn't do it without them.

I have been consciously eating breakfast in the morning. It's no longer a Coke but a bowl of oatmeal and a glass of 100% fruit juice. Lunch is raw veggies, which are surprisingly filling and then a salad before dinner. Drinking water is my biggest downfall right now. I know that my body needs it but I can't get myself in the habit of drinking it. I read that drinking it in spurts throughout the day helps EX. brush teeth in the morning and drink water, eat breakfast- drink water, feed the cats- drink water...for some reason that just isn't working. It's only been a few days so I am not ready to throw the towel in on that method just yet.

That's all that I have for tonight. Wish me luck on my second run!

My New Year's resolution

Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and thought, "Wow! When did I let myself go?" I have had that revelation more times than I can count over the last year but I have decided that enough is enough. My New Year's resolution is to become thinner and healthier. I hate to admit to the fact that I weigh more now than I ever thought I would weigh. In 2003, when I got pregnant, I weighed 122lbs. In labor I weighed 155lbs but by Christmas I was back down in the 120's. Somewhere between 2004 and now something has gone terribly wrong. I reached my highest weight ever in May 2008 when I hit 157lbs. I made a few lifestyle changes but nothing I ever stuck with. However, I was able to get to 145lbs where I plateaued for the rest of 2008. As I rolled in to 2009 I have decided that enough is enough. I have vowed to stop drinking soda- the main culprit to my heaviness- which has benefited the rest of my household. Ben and Chris have decided to go along with my changes and have implemented them into their lives as well. I have also decided to start running again. I used to love the freedom that came with running but it turned into a hassle so I quit. Not any more! I have taken on the 'Couch to 5K' program (www.coolrunning.com) and today was the first day of a 2 month course.

I have several goals, some short term- some long term, but I will reach them all in time. Starting this blog is my first step toward accountability for my actions. I will post my weight (however painful it may be), my exercise for the day and what I have eaten. Not very interesting but knowing that other people will know if I fail helps me stay on track.

My goals are straightforward:

I will be 135lbs by my birthday in July.

I will be able to run with my husband who can easily run 3 miles.

I will eat healthier.

I will be comfortable to be myself.

Thanks for reading and check back for updates!

Becky